All of My Homeschool Advice in One Place
Below is a copy of a document I wrote for friends home schooling their children during Covid. I was asked advice so often, it was easier to compile it. The next step was to place it in an easily accessible place online. Many moms who birth outside of the hospital decide to educate their children outside of the school system, so it’s not too big of a leap.
It’s long-come back to it as needed. Don’t let it overwhelm you. You can do this-even if none of this resonates with you-there are plenty of home school styles out there and you’ll find yours.
Homeschooling Advice
by Wendy Fowler, BS, LM, CPM
Hello friend-I appreciate that you trust me to share my story and advice. I have very strong feelings on the subject, mostly tied to our faith but also to parenting our children in general. I hope that even if we don’t have Christianity in common that you’ll read this anyway. Practically speaking, our curriculum makes a secular product called Book Shark that may meet your needs but also philosophically I think that you may glean tidbits of helpful hints even if you leave the faith part behind. I’m going to type a LOT of info. I’ll try to break it up with subheadings. Once you’ve read it all and explore the resources, call me and we’ll talk about your specific needs. I know many of you have never planned to homeschool and are in crisis mode. I feel for you. My heart is breaking for you. But I also have hope that what looks like a disaster and crisis becomes a sweet time with your child(ren), even if it’s temporary and you utilize the school system later. Soak in your babies, learn alongside them and for now (at least) don’t worry about a standardized test-I predict they’ll do great on the test after a year or so of this kind of school.
Home schooling in Texas:
It’s easy peasy, you don’t need to tell the schools you’re doing it if you’re child has never gone to school. You may need to unenroll them if they have been in school. You do not have to use any “state approved” curriculum, there (supposedly) are no lists of home schoolers, you don’t have to report to anyone. I recommend checking out the organization Texas Home School Coalition to ease your mind about CPS coming to your door (and learn what to do if they do). The law says you have to teach reading, writing and good citizenship but there is NO regulation of that. So take them to Sunday school, read the Bible, or do whatever YOU want to teach good citizenship.
What about socialization?
This will be the most annoying and common question you get asked. Maybe you’re wondering about it too. The thing is, socialization is not taught well by our children’s peers. Think about what WE were taught in 4th grade regarding socializing-swirlies, sucking in so we didn’t appear fat, being popular, not being too nerdy, not talking to the school outcast. That was an easier time and now 4th graders know about sex and pot. School is an artificial environment in which a group of children are placed with their peers of the same age and generally same economic status. This is not real life and will never occur again until maybe the nursing home. Real life social skills is learning to treat the postal clerk kindly even though you’re frustrated, checking on the elderly neighbor, carrying in groceries for your grandma, being respectful of other’s property, respecting authority, being quiet in church but loud at the playground. Why can’t you teach this? Do you think the school is the only one who can? Honestly, how well socialized were we when we graduated?
But I am not smart enough to teach my child
But you taught them to walk, eat with utensils, hold a crayon, and say their ABCs. You are the expert on your child. You know when they “get” something. You can read the nuanced body language saying they’ve checked out or are over stimulated. It is never the truth that a mother can’t teach her child. I mean I guess if she’s in a coma she can’t right then, but other than that, no one loves her child more than her and no one will be able to come beside them and lovingly (or no so lovingly as it sometimes is in reality) teach them like you can. Don’t let the idea of school take away your innate ability to educate your child.
You have to know your “why”
It is not easy-but y’all it’s not hard either. It’s not hard every day. Not hard like getting dressed and getting a herd of cats into a school building every dang day hard-I don’t know how y’all do that-for real. But you do need to know why you’re doing this. It will help you aim for the right curriculum and will help you hang in there. Talk it out with your trusted people and write it down. No really, write it down. You’ll need to come back to it. It can change but give yourself a starting place.
My why is that Shane and I didn’t have a great experience in school. I loved school, I am a people pleasing first born who thrived with textbooks and worksheets (more on that later) but I felt peer pressure-and honestly teacher pressure-to not be too smart/nerdy, so I didn’t. I made mostly As but didn’t push for honor society or anything over the top. So I didn’t really reach my potential. I hate the fact that one or two teachers (the one I recall was sleeping with one of the guys from my class, so there’s that) would make me feel stupid for turning in school work, as if the cool kids wouldn’t do such a thing (I was just average, not a cool bone in my body).
However, our deepest WHY is that Deuteronomy tells us to talk about these things (scriptures) as we walk and talk and go about our day. We could not see how to obey this while our children were in the State school (I know that’s a harsh term, but who owns the schools and what is their goal?) 8 hours a day? Between homework, dinner, and extra curricular activities how could we undo what the school was doing to our child spiritually? This is a deep conviction and you may not share it. That’s okay, I’m not judging you, I just have to answer to the Lord for myself. Other families may be able to figure out the answer of how to life a lifestyle of teaching about Jesus to your kids while they’re in school-I hope so!
While we’re here-there’s always someone saying that their child is a missionary in the public school. No where in scripture is a child sent as a missionary into a land hostile to God.
Isn’t the school neutral?
No way. Text book companies have been slowly adding more and more liberal ideology to their books. Evolution is the norm and has been for years, even though it’s a theory and not fact. Now it’s gender wars-or genderLESS wars. Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, please know that a former abortion clinic owner shared with me that they had a side gig going into the schools to start teaching children at a young age to not trust their parents. They would tell them only a healthcare professional like them could advise them on sex, birth control and what to do if they needed an abortion. Their mission wasn’t sex ed, it was to start planting seeds that the parents are stupid and not to be confided in so that the abortion clinic could get the sale on the abortion years and years later. I’m sad to say that it’s not just the sex ed guest speakers who may feel this way.
If you notice, in the public school it’s the norm to despise your parents and your siblings. Home schooled children do not always get along, for sure-but my 23 year old and 11 year old are best friends. Not all of my girls are this close but they are solid in their relationships with each other. This would not have been the case if they had been exposed to the idea that your younger sister/brother is the worst person to hang out with (this is the socializing we want? No!)
The school is not neutral-it is subtly and not so subtly full of humanistic world views. There is no neutral-there is either for God or against God. The state school can not be for God. Private schools might be, or might try to be but I’ve not seen this work out well. My young friends in private school have struggled to make their relationship with God a priority because it became a fake hoop to jump through for chapel. Private schools are often where kids are sent who have been expelled from public school so think twice about them.
What about sports?
Well when you start where I stared with your WHY-sports are pretty low on the priority list. But this is the south and sports are important, so I’ll say a few things here. First, even if you aren’t a Christian and don’t feel the need to protect your child from State school, if you know that home schooling is best for your child but aren’t doing it/haven’t done it because of the sports aspect, you may need to ask why. For a Christian, this would be an idol. For the non-Christian, it might be giving into peer/family pressure, or your priorities may be skewed.
Maybe that’s easy for me to say because I have girls. I’ll give you that-we all have our unique dynamics to explore. I don’t know what it’s like to have a boy who doesn’t do sports. If sports are important, most communities have home school co-ops with sports. You can also consider sports that are not with the school. You can set up your own tennis teams and teach the kids to play. You all know we cycle and there are no school cycling teams aside from at the college level. There is a way for your child to be physically active, which is what I would personally be after.
Before you choose curriculum, read this section:
There is a very broad spectrum of styles of schooling. There are thousands of curricula out there. You MUST choose your style before you choose your curricula. DO NOT MISS THIS STEP.
Go read this and come back:
https://simplycharlottemason.com/five-homeschooling-styles/
School at home/Traditional
This is not the heart of home schooling in my opinion. It feels safe because the schools do it but it is not the ideal learning style for many kids (any kids?). The classroom is replicated right down to the flag and apple on mom’s desk. Workbooks are used and a strict timeline is used each day. I’m not a fan and most kids aren’t either. When the kids hate school mom will too. The most common curricula that might fit here: A Beka, Switched on Schoolhouse, whatever the state is providing you.
Classical:
I personally like this method and dabbled in it a little. I wish I’d taught the girls more Latin. You could probably mix this style with others. I feared I’d take it too traditionally and my kids would rebel. Again we all have our own situation to deal with.
Charlotte Mason Approach (CM):
This is so beautiful and will help your child love learning, respect others, love nature, and you’ll learn so much too. My friends who’ve spent their 1000 hours outside this year are doing this without knowing it.
Unit Studies:
These are taking one topic and spreading it out over a lot of disciplines. Let’s say we study the weather as a unit: of course you can cover science, do art that is weather related, read stories about tsunamis and tornados, makes graphs of the weather (math), find poetry about the weather, visit a weather station, read an autobiography of someone who discovered something cool about weather, watch a documentary, and so on. You can include kids of all ages in this-making it harder/easier for their needs. You can also make it school at home and use texts, tests and worksheets if that’s your preference.
What I chose:
https://www.sonlight.com/about/company/educational-philosophy/
We found Sonlight (SL) which is close to CM but has the benefit of a schedule laid out for you. SL uses real, living books and few text books. The text books are top notch and engaging when possible, more of a narrative than a dry exposition. I loved to read but had no idea how to find good books for my kids. SL to the rescue! Some of these books have become beloved friends and are woven into our family’s story. For instance the mother in Red Sails to Capri sings to her food to know when it’s done. When the father cooked he didn’t sing and of course it burned, so sometimes it comes up that we need to sing while cooking. Ashlyn wants to go to the cave in this book for her honeymoon. Oh and she asked for books from each year’s work (used to be called Core, so that’s what I call them still) for Christmas so she could have her own copy. The girls won’t let me sell them (though SL has a great resale value if your kids will take their hands off them).
So here’s our day:
When the girls were little, Shane worked nights so we stayed up late seeing him off, slept in until 8ish and started school after that. We read Bible first every day because I wanted them to know it was the most important. Another mom told me if the Bible is all you get done one day, that’s great. I’d read poetry and then we’d get into our other books. SL’s schedule has it all lined up but without dates. So it’s 36 weeks worth of work and you can choose 4 or 5 day plans. Some families choose the 5 day and do it slowly over 2 years, some do it as presented, some do 4 days of school and one day for co-op, errands, field trips or catch up. It’s YOUR school, do it how you want! We’d do our math and any workbooks (language arts might have workbooks), science and saved SL’s read aloud book for last. SL’s read alouds (RAs) are the best-you curl up on the couch with your kids and read to them. Sometimes they beg for more, sometimes you have to have tissues, sometimes you can’t wait to get through it, and sometimes you decided to skip the book-but it’s okay (usually they’re awesome and only 1-2 books a year are shelved before you finish it).
SL says it’s a buffet-they give you more than you need and you choose what you want. They schedule it all so you ignore what you don’t want to do (DO NOT LET THE BOX CHECKING RUN OVER YOU).
When mine were little we did this:
Daily: Bible, Poetry, Math and the SL readers (kids books) and RAs (mom reads)
Tues & Thurs we’d do Science
Mon & Wed we’d do language arts
As they got older the chunks for each day in some subjects were to big so we did them all daily but many days after a birth, I’d double up and catch up.
We are finished by lunch each day with the little ones (like elementary and below). With bigger kids (jr high and up) we work until early afternoon. Since I take care of the younger ones first, the older ones have to wait for me so we finish what they need help on around 3-4pm (they’ve done school on their own all morning). There’s no reason to sit for 8 hours a day like public school because you aren’t controlling a big class, doing bathroom breaks as a class, etc. We start school with me in my PJs and I read to them while they eat. I may set them up with workbooks or something they can do on their own while I shower. In many families, dad may read the read aloud at bed time. You can save some for road trips and get them on CD or download them from audible. Some families take the missionary stories (SL has several every year) and read them on the way to church on Sundays or in the afternoon on Sundays. Make it your own, mama.
Our schedule was unique in that we schooled for six weeks on and then took a week off. By halfway through the 4th week I was ready to do some deep cleaning, my taxes, doula organizing or just take a breather. It also gave us room to move school around in case we got the flu or I had several all night births. This put us doing school the entire month of June which is hard on me-I feel the freedom of summer on Memorial Day so honestly, we usually just stop with a few weeks left. It’s never hurt my kids to not read a couple of the books.
Where will you do school?
We use the dining room table and always have. I never wanted a school room because they tend to collect all the things that don’t have a home and become a chore to stay on top of. I use a large bookcase in my dining room for that year’s supplies, I store supplies I want handy in a cabinet in the kitchen/breakfast nook area and materials for other grades are in the shed. We actually do school at the table, on the couch, on my bed (which may or may not lead to an afternoon nap) and if needed in the car. We’ve made some great memories reading outside under the trees on a blanket. For kids old enough to do their own work, they have a milk crate of daily books and their schedule they take to their room or the couch or wherever they land.
Do the kids need a desk?
Mine don’t and they more likely to remember their lessons if they’re moving their body-so building lego houses or bouncing on a yoga ball for little ones. I know you won’t think they’re listening (I didn’t either) but you’ll hear them repeating the story to a friend. They’re getting it, I promise!
If they are young and boys, especially please don’t expect them to sit and do school for long. Children are meant for play an our school system and society has taken over their childhood. Teach them naturally by talking about the colors of the fruits & veggies while you shop, explain how they work to make the body strong. When they want to know more about they body, get kids anatomy book from the library. Plant some beans in a ziplock in your window. Go to a farmers market and meet the farmers. There’s so much kids learn as they go about life if you point them to it and foster a love for learning and exploring.
PreK and K advice: Just read to them, read to them and read to them some more. Read good books (CM can point you to what’s “twaddle” but also the book Honey for a Child’s Heart is helpful). They’ll want to read and will ask you to teach them. When you read, run your finer under the words as you read so they get that you read from L to R. Do NOT teach letter names, teach letter SOUNDS. The names will come naturally. Go to the library, PLAY, explore, talk. If you need some help with this read Ruth Beechick’s books and a real classic is Raymond Moore’s Better Late than Early (the premise is that we teach reading too early and that if you wait, they’ll want it and learn it really fast-evidence seems to agree.
Why living books?
Do you recall anything from your childhood that you learned from a textbook? I recall that molecules are closer together if they’re cold and spread out if they’re hot from a picture of soup in a book in about 1st grade. That’s about it. But you do remember stories. Living books teach real life from a person’s point of view who was there. We learn better this way than with a workbook.
What is your end goal?
Mine used to be college but that’s changed (more on that in a minute). It’s now to make life long learners. I want them to be willing to learn to do whatever God wants them to in order to do His plan. I want them to enjoy the life God gave them and never stop exploring and learning. Do you think worksheets, seated bookwork and 8 hours of school make lifelong learners? Sadly, they don’t. Well not sadly-we are meant for so much more! Doing some book work that is fulfilling then going out to explore the outdoors, build a fort, or otherwise PLAY is the best way to learn. Snuggling on the couch to do “school” makes for positive warm associations with learning. Young ones don’t even need to know this is school!
How would you and your child learn a new hobby right now? You might go to the library for books, watch a documentary, ask a friend who knows more than you about the hobby to mentor you or educate you on it, you’d visit a store that caters to your new hobby. You would not do a worksheet. Why not learn history this way? And science? Of course there is a place for some worksheets in language arts and math but used minimally is best.
It’s worked for me-as of this writing (2020) my girls are 23, 19, 16, 14 and 11. The oldest two are finished and I’d say they both continue to learn-Hope has taught herself to paint and skateboard. Ashlyn is obsessed with learning new things-hiking the Appalachian trail, scuba diving, childbirth (she attended several births before Covid) are the most recent and she is now about to start college with the intent to become a doctor. It’s just normal in our house to get books on something to learn more.
What about transcripts?
Until your child is in high school they aren’t needed. If you have a child that age, you just make a simple list of all they’ve done and the grade you gave them (SL doesn’t really have you give grades-you know if they got it or not). They do not want all the extra things you’ve done, just the basics. For instance, I count helping with groceries, cooking, and being able to plan a menu and meal for a family of 7 for a week as food science. My kids are expected to help with these things as well as childcare and general running of the house when they’re preteens and older. But if my kids took a 4-H basket weaving class, I may not put that on their transcript. Karate, ballet, and cycling are PE. The leadership university they do through our church is social studies, I made their speech curriculum (a few books on speaking and practicing reciting poems in front of us). If Audrey keeps doing theater camp every summer, that will add up to performance/theater credits. Keep it simple, don’t stress.
Okay what about college then?
I knew I’d go to college as soon as I learned what it was. I did, too with zero student debt. College cost about $100 for 3 hours and a book at the local college in 1994. So to prove my credibility as a home school mom, I expected my kids to go too. That was mostly my pride but my heart truly wanted to prepare my kids for whatever God might have them do and I felt I was in no place to even guess what God would be up to with my kids. When Ashlyn was finished with school she said she wouldn’t go to school to rack up debt just because it’s the American thing to do. If God told her to go, she would go but otherwise she’d learn to do what she felt called to do without it. So she learned to farm and ranch in an apprentice style arrangement that God put together for her. She looked into farm and ranch management degrees but didn’t quite feel the it was the right time. Then we had an experience at work that made her decide to be a doctor (because midwives’ clients are treated like poop at the hospital). So now she’s prepping for college. She’s self motivated. She’s going to succeed because she’s driven. Who cares that she’s 23?
You can research the outrageous increase in tuition and the increasing liberal views taught there vs the major demand for skilled blue collar workers taught skills in vocational trainings. Helping your children have some skills before they graduate are great-parenting, running a home, cooking, gardening, taking care of animals and in this time, keeping a family healthy are all important.
What do my kids say? Do they wish they were public schooled?
100% None at their currant age except for Audrey who occasionally wants the lively social schedule a school environment would give her. Audrey would be the class clown or the valedictorian. No in-between. Home is best for her where I can control her socializing.
Ashlyn told a friend interesting in homeschooling that compared to her public schooled friends, she knew that moms who home schooled would always serve a better education than her friends were getting. Her friends didn’t understand why she wanted to read. She didn’t understand why they complained about reading only one book a semester. SL provides about 30 books a school year. Her private school friends didn’t go to school local to her but she saw how the culture there severely affected their relationship with God (appearances were everything).
Regrets & mistakes
All of our kids will have gaps in their education-no matter where they go to school. They key is that they know how to find out more info when they run into a gap that affects them, so hear and understand that early on. In my house, language arts is natural and normal. I didn’t have them write enough papers I’m afraid but Ashlyn has written a small book every November as part of NaNoWriMo for 8 years so she can write just fine. Reading good literature equates to being able to speak and write well and SLers read a LOT of good literature. When she needs help writing a research paper in college, I’ll help her and she’ll do fine. Math is a weak point in our house but I’ve hired a tutor this year and she nicely told me that I was expected way more than is actually needed. She says that unless the child wants to be an architect or engineer they do not need Alg 2 and that Alg 1 is all that’s on the college entrance exam (she tutors for the local community college regarding this class and has taken it herself). She suggests a consumer math. That is NOT what Texas suggests for the high achievers but she doesn’t see why we put kids through that when it’s truly not needed. (Edited to update: Our oldest has now finished several semesters, is loved by her English professor, has a strong GPA and is thriving in college. She’s changed her career goal to emergency management and started building that resume by volunteering with her local fire dept. There she met the guy she’ll marry in a few days).
I let my kids get away with putting off work for too long and I hate doing science experiments so those got neglected. I wish I could have done more CM style and been outside more but we live in the country, have chickens, cows, cats, dogs…so maybe my standards were too high again. I would have had more CM tea parties (go read about her, y’all!). I would have made my teens sit at the table and not their rooms and I would have taken their phones away (but I need to listen to music while I do school, they claimed).
So you like SL-don’t be afraid of the price. Here’s why:
If you have multiple children, most of it can be used again. Only a handful of materials have to be bought again for the next child.
It has a high resale vale-which also means you might find it on ebay or fb marketplace
You do not need two “grades” for children close together. SL was originally made for missionary families who lived outside of the USA and had limited resources to schooling supplies. SL made “cores” which was all the mom would need for children in about a 3 year age range. After all, living books aren’t grade specific-Charlottes Web is fine for a child in K, 1st, 2nd, 3rd…and their mom will cry even though she knows the story. You can teach one level for several children giving each child their own level of math, handwriting, and language arts. SL now calls their cores grade levels due to consumer demand but you can see the age/grade range on their site.
You don’t need the big package-don’t buy all the electives
Buy a cheaper math and science.
What worked for us:
SL
Math U See
A Reason for Writing (they now have spelling and other curricula too)
Apologia Science-I’ve never liked SL elementary science, it was too scattered when mine were little, it may be better now. Apologia is CM friendly.
Mavis Beacon typing
How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Brave Writer language arts
Ruth Beechick books on language arts
Explode the Code language arts workbooks
Editor in Chief language arts books (older kids)
Write with the Best by Dixon
All About Reading for my Dyslexic children (and one of those has high functioning autism)
How to Study Your Bible for Kids (Kay Arthur has a ton of these books)
Cathy Duffy homeschool reviews
CM-Karen Andreola books-she’s basically interpreted Charlotte’s writing for modern times. She is *the* expert on CM and lays it out beautifully for us.
If you’re jumping in right now, especially if you’ve not planned to do this before:
Be gentle on yourself and your child. It’s a new world for you both.
If you have a baby in the mix, it’s a great time to teach the big kid(s) that we serve the least able in our home. Work around the baby, use a sling, do school during naps.
Cuddle over conflict. They’re stressed too. Find ways to make it fun if you can
Let them control some of their learning if they’re old enough-let them pick their Bible study, science topic, etc.
You have to detox from public school. Seasoned home school moms will tell you to take 1 week of down time for every year of school your child has attended. Just enjoy being a family with no school stress.
Surround yourself with encouraging voices that have a like minded philosophy so you are not tempted to jump ship. Find a home school group, a seasoned mentor, fb groups, etc. Find your tribe.
Don’t be afraid to try. If something isn’t working, ditch it. Just don’t get addicted to buying new and shiny curriculum. Talk to a seasoned mom before you change midyear, but don’t be afraid to consider it if it’s not working.
Brace yourself for some snarky comments but know that the people who tell you that you’re on the right track will surprise you-it was almost always public or private school teachers who said they wished they could home school and that one on one instruction is superior to a classroom of kids. When people have weird things to say, it’s probably about them, not you.
There are more home schoolers than you think and we’re all rooting for you. Call on us to help, we’re here for you.
Wendy Fowler
If you really want a blast from the past and want to read my blog from my early days of homeschooling: allgirlhomeschool.blogspot.com